Effective coaching requires a true partnership. Some teachers are slow to warm up to coaching and others offer reasons why they do not wish to engage. To reach all teachers, coaches need a variety of ways to invite them into a productive coaching partnership focused on solving their problems of practice.

In a previous blog, I offered ideas for starting coaching conversations with hesitant teachers. Following up, I am providing additional strategies that can be especially helpful to coaches who have a teacher hesitant to engage, or for some instances when a teacher has been given a direct instruction to engage in coaching with you.

The most important starting point in connecting with hesitant teachers is to gain insight into why they might be hesitant to work with you. A teacher may say something like:

  • “I have nothing to work on right now.”
  • “My students are doing well.”
  • “I am an experienced teacher. I don’t need a coach.”

Or, you may show up to a coaching meeting and the teacher sits in silence without offering any meaningful thoughts about a possible coaching focus.

Before assuming the teacher’s response means they’re unmotivated or resistant, a coach needs to consider all the information offered by the teacher’s response.

If the comment was delivered verbally, what was the speaker’s tone? Did you get the impression the person might be feeling overwhelmed and wanted to avoid putting one more task on their already long to-do-list? Or did they sound angry or defensive? Or perhaps they simply sounded tired, defeated, rushed, or uncertain?

If the communication came via email, what is the context for the rejection of coaching? Did they offer a reason? If so, what understanding — beyond the stated reason — can you understand from the communication? If they don’t offer a reason, that omission offers you an opportunity for an in-person follow up question to learn more.

Understanding the reason for the “no, thank you” response offers a valuable starting point for your next interaction. Think of your understanding as being a bit of inside information.

If the teacher’s response made you wonder if they might be feeling overwhelmed, you could follow up by asking if your interpretation is correct and then acknowledging the teacher’s response and why they might not want to take on something new in coaching. You could then follow with a question about what possible change in their daily teaching life might make their day less stressful (see How to start a coaching conversation with a hesitant teacher). Or you might ask if a brief conversation about prioritizing some of their most pressing tasks would be useful to them now. Notice how those questions offer an invitation to coaching without using the word “coaching” and how there is an intentional reference to a “brief” conversation.

If the teacher seems angry or defensive, you might follow up by asking for the teacher’s help to better understand their previous experiences with coaching or other forms of collaboration. Perhaps their hesitancy now is the result of a previous experience that caused them to close their practice to such outside support. Or perhaps their response is based in a concern that you will try to force them to behave or teach in a certain way. Either a past negative experience or a concern about maintaining their autonomy within a coaching relationship can be addressed through a conversation or written document clarifying your role, your ethical guidelines as a coach, and/or the mission and purpose of coaching within your setting.

Communicating about your use of a coaching contract and the ways in which it ensures transparency of the process and includes the expectations of both the teacher and coach can provided important reassurance to a hesitant teacher. In their book Taking the lead: New roles for teachers and school-based coaches (Learning Forward, 2017) authors Joellen Killion and Cindy Harrison, offer excellent information about coaching partnership agreements in chapter 16.

Occasionally, teachers say no to coaching simply because they don’t have any idea what they might work on with a coach. If you sense this is the case, you might briefly mention a few of the topics you’ve worked on with other teachers. Remember to maintain the confidentiality of your work with other teachers by keeping names and specifics out of the conversation. It can also be helpful to mention that the most productive coaching conversations or cycles often involve making small tweaks or refinements to existing practices rather than launching into something entirely new.

All of these suggestions are about ensuring hesitant teachers that you and your coaching will meet them where they are, will be non-judgmental and non-evaluative, and will contribute to, rather than undermine their efficacy and autonomy. By meeting teachers — especially hesitant teachers — with concern, understanding, and an open door to partnering with them, you are building trust and laying a foundation for future work. So, even if you still receive a “no, thank you response” from the teacher, rest assured that progress has been made. Building trust and starting a meaningful coaching relationship is just like forming any kind of new relationship. It will take longer with some people than with others. The people who trust and engage more slowly aren’t necessarily resistant, burned-out, or difficult. They are human. Just like we are.